Me (How we change)

Was looking back at a blog I set up in 2005 blogger? anyway its all doom and gloom and started to make me feel a bit down so decided not to bring anything over from that blog. What have I achieved since then well lost my children to the care system and then won them back through the appeal court system. Have given up smoking and Work part time as a volunteer foe the Citizens Advice Bureau. Have stuck to my Diet since Jan01 09 and have drastically reduced my Alcohol intake. Have discovered I am a Diabetic and need to look after myself more!  My views of the world are unchanged and cant see them changing.

Have found that Christian people (not all)  but most of them in this country are hypocritical and self rightious that I feel a revulsion and anger that they use Gods name to make themselves out to be people who look out for the poor the marginalised when really they only look out for themselves and make excuses that everything is answerable in prayer because they do not want to help or support the very people they collect money for!!

My thought on life are going to be headed under thoughts.

Today 24th September 2008

Well walked to Citizens Advice had a decaff coffee on the centre watching people and felt on the outside crazy but it was like they were robots and I could see so much more clearly things that they did not. I walked through this complex think its called millennium Sq and it has a huge TV and the whole area is futuristic and it reminded me of all these lost souls looking up to the screen for guidance and instruction (big brother civil liberties? you have seen nothing yet!). Felt better today health wise Was sat with middle class trainees today at Citizens advice and listened in awe at them being able to speak so clearly and felt a peasant wishing I could speak like them so that I could better put my point across to help the marginalised be better understood but then I realised I needed to be their because these good speakers have no idea about life’s struggles in a world that is selfish.

I look at Facebook and see people really trying to make a change inn the world and ask people to join groups but people would rather campaign to say join silly things  but will not campaign for their rights or things that REALLY matter

Sons Birthday 23rd September 2008

Went to the Doctors more blood God knows what is the matter  with me. Took my son to the circus last night Billy Smarts and it was good but the clown was brilliant. I think some of these shows are a bit outdated now and do not seem to have the same magical feel I felt as a kid, My second day of training at Citizens advice today and really looking forward to it. It is my dream to be a voice for others unlike alot of the great pretenders out there!. Going to walk there and back need the exercise. I have been on Facebook again it can be quiet addictive going on there. Tomorrow I see my Councilor I enjoy these sessions I feel  I can say what I want.

Daily Journal of a single dad (marginalised)

Today will be my first day of training with CAB I am looking forward to it but a bit scared that I may noit be good enough and because my health seems to be playing up and dont feel the doctors take me seriously enough or that thy are looking for the wrong thing. I am worried that my Boys may not have me round long enough to see them into adulthood leading a life very different from the one I have led and was dragged into from a small child by a cruel and vicious mother who is now dead but very much alive in her children!. I have a burning ambition to help people whio live on the very edge of life they existence to survive and thats it! they have no life and lack an education to better themselves. When Government do anything is os very rarely for the poor but for the middle class and above and when the media report on recent events and report the vulnerable they ar5e talking about home owners not those on low income ie income suppoort etc who are reallyu suffering thy are mot mentioned.

Christians I am a christian but ashamed of most christians I have met hiding behind What I call Political talk (bullshit) I have a message for them you cant hide from God!!!